Thursday, June 21, 2012

Six ways to stay attractive to your husband ~ coming-home


It’s easy to fix ourselves up when we are preparing to leave the home with our husbands. After all, we’ll be around other people.

We started this week with the question of what we do when our husbands are surrounded by immodesty. Many of you responded that your husbands were sensitive to the pull of immodesty and that they fought against looking or that it wasn’t an issue for them. That’s wonderful! I then posted six ways to stay attractive to your husband in an amusement park of immodesty.

But what about being “fixed up” at home – just for our husbands? Is that important?

For the first several years of our marriage, I worked full-time as a Legal Assistant. Four of those years were spent in evening law school classes. Every evening, I would choose what I would wear to work the next day. I made sure that everything was coordinated, clean, and pressed. I checked my pantyhose for holes. I chose my lip gloss color. In the morning, I would dress carefully, meticulously fix my hair, and apply what little make-up I wore. During the work day, I would periodically take my purse into the bathroom and do a check. After I left work and before I went into my evening class, I would do another check, reapplying the lip gloss after my quick supper. Every day I knew I was going to be around other people, so I was careful with my appearance.

Then we had children.

And it was a job like no other I had had before.

But my husband was still going to work. He was spending his days in an office with women who carefully prepared their appearance before they left the house in the morning – just as I used to do. Women who hadn’t had paper airplanes stuck in their hair or orange juice spilled on them or a thousand distractions on the way to brush their teeth. When he came home, though…what did he find?

Well, it wasn’t long before I knew I needed to focus on a few things before he walked in the door.

Now, for the five or ten minutes before I expect him home, I concentrate my efforts on a few specific tasks.

I powder my face. I don’t wear make-up for a variety of reasons, but I do dab on some powder to take away the shine. If you wear make-up, a touch-up might be in order.

I brush my teeth. I’m sure my welcome is much more pleasant when my “hi” is on a wave of mint.

I change my shirt if I’ve been spit-up on or had jelly thrown at me. In an ideal world, changing would happen at the time of impact. In The Real World, time can too easily get away from me. (Can I get an amen?)

I check my hair. I usually fix my hair pretty quickly in the morning so that it is out of my way. But if it has slipped or fallen in some way during the day, now is the time I re-do it, usually with my husband’s new favorite, a pretty Lilla Rose flexi clip.

I run a quick pick-up of the living room and kitchen. Our garage door opens directly into the kitchen, and I don’t want him to have to step over the Tupperware the toddler inevitably drags out during the day. Older children can be a terrific help in this.

I brush my daughters’ hair or have them brush it. Keeping hair neat is a good practice to cultivate in daughters anyway.

Some days I accomplish this better than others, just like everything else in life. But I can tell by his smile that my husband appreciates these little efforts.

~Meghan

Do you have anything to add to the list? How difficult is it to accomplish these tasks? Have you found it to be worth the effort?


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19 comments:

  1. I've found my attitude is huge in how our evenings go. If I've had a rough day or am just exhausted I may not feel like giving him a loving greeting at all. No matter how I look, if I give him a list of grievances when he comes home it can spoil the effort. And honestly, when I didn't get a shower just combing and fixing my hair and not wearing the old clothes can hide a lot. I also try to make sure the kids look decent and the baby is changed. I do try to think of lighting a candle and/or airing out the house, too, so it smells a little nicer.I wish I did all of this each day, but that's life. Enjoying this series :)

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    1. One of my first questions on the blog was "Are you interested in your husband?" You can click through to it from the "Questions" page. I never turned it into a series, although perhaps I should have. It focused on our emotional and verbal response to our husbands when they come home from work. Do we listen? Or do we hand them a dirty baby? You raise a good point on attitude. Thanks for commenting!

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    2. Good point about the attitude, Sarah. I've heard it said that the mother is the "barometer" of the home. I have found that to be sooo true!

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  2. I learned this last summer, when I was home most days and my husband worked all day. I try to have my teeth brushed, my hair smooth and tidy (he likes it down but it's nice to have it out of the way in a ponytail most of the time), and a little lipstick or lip gloss on. I'm also working on just giving him some space when he comes home hot, tired and plain worn-out--he likes to just crash on the couch for a while before we talk much about our day.

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    1. Good suggestion, Jaimie, to give him some space. I know I don't want to be overwhelmed with requests when I first walk in the door. Thanks for joining the conversation!

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  3. Respecting his need to just be home with us for a bit, and not bombarded right away by a to-do list or complaints... makes for a much better start to the evening! Popping by from Life in Bloom...Blessings on your day!

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    1. Thanks, Katharine, for stopping by. Good suggestion, too -- don't complain! Hope to see you again.

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  4. Once again Meghan, excellent tips. I have learned that since I started wearing skirts full-time, I want to look "fixed up" more than when I wore pants. So, right before he gets home, I do a quick check in the mirror. I'm not big on make-up either, but my hair usually needs a little bit of attention..and I'm always wearing a pair of earrings, too...I find that they really add a nice feminine touch. Also, I try to have the family room/kitchen/dining straightened up. And a nice hot meal on the table doesn't hurt, either. :) And like Katharine, I always make the sure the children and I don't bombard with "Can you do this or that" the minute he walks in the door. :) We try to give him time to unwind first thing.
    Love this series..and I always look forward to the next post. :)
    Many blessings!

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    1. Thanks so much for your suggestions and your kind compliments, Lisa! The "nice hot meal" is a challenge for me -- I'm usually blogging! But my husband is okay with that. He likes to cook, so we usually work on it together, and he gets home early enough that there's time. Isn't it interesting how each person and each relationship is different?

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  5. I am relieved at your list :) I was afraid you'd push me to do something more complicated than this... it is a good list, and hard enough to do as it is as a mom of six!

    I would add- make time to be with just HIM.
    Emily
    www.weakandloved.com

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    1. More complicated? Oh, girlfriend, sometimes just this list is complicated! :) Especially with six....

      Thanks!

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  6. I try to do some things as well. I haven't been so diligent about this, I tend to go through times of being better about it and times of not doing so well. Lately I've been trying to be more intentional and make it a priority. I clean up the main rooms (kitchen and living room), put on some lip gloss which is mostly the only make up I wear, put on real clothes if I'm still in sweats--although I've been making more of an effort no not wear sweats all day. I've seen a lot of women on this topic who keep the children away from daddy when he first gets home, but my husband enjoys being greeted at the door, so I try to stop what I'm doing and go and greet him as he comes in.

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    1. "Real clothes" -- love your word choice!

      Good point about the children greeting daddy. Of course, the children run faster than I do, so he is swamped by them. But then they get their hugs out of the way, and that leaves just me. :)

      Thanks, Crystal!

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  7. To add...Don't walk around in yoga pants all day. :o) I believe your list is great and doable. Hubby and I work from home so for us it's about not getting too comfortable.

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    1. Whenever I think of hubbies working at home, I remember that Dilbert cartoon from years ago where Dilbert is "telecommuting" and, as he sits in his bathrobe, he's holding a puppet of himself dressed in a suit and tie up to the webcam.

      Thanks for the suggestion. Hope to see you again!

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  8. Oooh I so fall short in this area. My hubby often gets home late so it's hard, but not a good excuse. Visiting from Thankful Thursday!

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    1. The later it gets, the more tired we are. I'm right there with you. So thankful you could drop by today!

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  9. Don't forget to make sure that your smell good. Deodorant or essential oils are good too! :) Great list!

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    1. Definitely need to smell good! Who wants to be around Stinky? Deodorant or oils or maybe some spaghetti sauce dabbed on your wrist? Whatever your husband likes. . . . Thanks so much for commenting, Tara!

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I so much appreciate your time and effort in leaving a comment, and I try to respond to as many as time permits. :-)