Monday, July 16, 2012

Is "Hot" a Compliment?


Hot is your steak just off the grill – ready for you to tear into it with your sharp teeth and devour it.

A woman is a compelling novel – secrets and twists waiting to be opened, read, and enjoyed.


Hot is your coffee in the morning – full-bodied flavor but scalding your tongue and burning your throat as it slides down.

A woman is a masterpiece of art – an indescribable blend of hue and skill and talent that takes a lifetime to learn.


Hot is a one-hundred-degree day in the summer – burning your skin and soaking you with perspiration until you can’t wait to get out of the heat.

A woman is a beautiful sunset – warmth and light and endless possibility.


Hot is not a compliment.




“I will praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; marvelous are Your works, and that my soul knows very well.” Psalm 139:14










What do you think? Am I an unspeakable prude? Or do you agree? What words do you think are compliments?


This is the wrap-up to a series on teaching boys chivalry. You may also enjoy –






~~~~~
Receive new posts from this blog by e-mail.
Let’s connect on Facebook, Twitter, or Pinterest.
~~~~~

Linking with A Wise Woman Builds Her HomeRaising HomemakersWomen Living WellA Pause on the PathNo Ordinary Blog HopLessons from IvyFar Above RubiesGrowing HomeTime-Warp WifeThe Modest MomThe Better MomRaising Arrows


Pin It!

23 comments:

  1. So with 11 and 12 year old boys, you know we've had this discussion more than once...lol! Hot and s*xy seem to go hand in hand, so it's not a word we allow our sons to use in describing a girl. It doesn't have a wholesome sound to it. Now if my son is married and slips up to me and says, "Mom...I love my wife...and she's hot." I'll smile and say, "Keep the fires burnin' brightly boy!" :-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This whole question of using the word "hot" to describe a woman first came to my attention when my girls were very little. I heard Dennis Rainey on Family Life Today tell about a time his teen daughter was online "chatting" -- before FB -- and a teen boy called her a "hottie." Dennis told her to end that chat right then, and he had a few words with that boy. No boy was allowed to call his daughter that. It's been percolating in my mind ever since.

      With a married son in your scenario, I agree completely -- wise words! Thanks, Stephanie.

      Delete
  2. I agree with you, Meghan, and with Stephanie..."hot" is not a compliment UNLESS it comes from my husband. In a world where supermodels are described as "hot," it's encouraging to know my husband thinks I'm as attractive (more so, he says!) than they are. :)

    It's entirely inappropriate for boys of any age who are unmarried to call any woman "hot". I was uncomfortable with even hearing it, not directed at me, until after Joshua and I had been in a relationship for a while. Same goes for sexy. Now I like it, from my husband. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Excellent point -- "after Joshua and I had been in a relationship for a while." By marriage, a man loves a woman for who she is, not just how she looks. Great comment, Jaimie!

      Delete
    2. Hi ladies,
      Another good topic for discussion, Meghan. :) So far, my 13, 11, and 10 yr. old sons have not used "hot" in the bad sense. However, I see it and hear it all over the place - especially some of my friends on FB..talking about celebrities being "hot" - and these women are married! Ridiculous! I am on high alert, though..waiting for this to come up with my sons. Because I will definitely have to nip it in the bud. And for the record, after 30 years of marriage (on the 23rd of this month), my hubby still considers me "hot". And vice versa. ;)
      Looking forward to what other ladies have to say about this. :)
      Have a blessed Monday, everyone!

      Delete
    3. How about this situation, ladies? When we were on vacation a couple of years ago, visiting a church near where we were staying, the leader of the praise band was on the platform playing her guitar in rock-like gyrations. After the "worship", the pastor came out and said, with raised eyebrows seemingly full of insinuation, "Yeah, that's my wife. Isn't she hot?" What do you think?

      Delete
    4. I think she was wrong to do that in front of people (especially calling it "worship"). And I think he was wrong for his comment. Where is the discretion?!

      Delete
    5. The lack of discretion in Christian circles today truly saddens me, there seems to be too many winks toward private behavior.

      Delete
    6. It distresses me that I even have to be careful turning on Christian radio when my children are around. Boundaries just don't exist any longer. I struggled with this post -- whether or not to post it -- and it's definitely at my limits.

      Thanks for the great conversation, ladies!

      Delete
  3. My boys are 3 1/2 and 2 so we're aways away from this topic - yikes not ready for that. But with my 5 year girl - I see "HOT" on nearly half the shirts out there for her....not so much liking that.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I see the same thing, Autumn...fashion designers wanting us to dress our little girls like tramps. So sad!

      Delete
    2. Shopping for my two oldest girls was great fun when they were little (7 to 10 years ago), but now not so much. Thank the Lord for hand-me-downs!

      Delete
    3. Amen to that, Meghan...and goodwill and thrift stores! :)

      Delete
  4. I agree with the first commenter. Not a phrase that should be thrown around, but if my hubby privately tells me I'm hot, I'm gonna take it as a compliment! ;) Same as if he called me s*xy etc. He does that only in private though...

    If some one told my daughter she was hot (and that some one was not married to her) her daddy would need to have a serious talk with the person in question!

    I agree with you though, in most cases that the word is used these days it's inappropriate and should be avoided! :) I will definitely be teaching my son to use better words than "hot" to describe a young woman! :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. There are so many other word choices, too! Why do so many fall back on what's popular instead of thinking of their own?

      Thanks for the comment!

      Delete
    2. This comment has been removed by the author.

      Delete
    3. Excellent point! I plan on teaching my boys to use words such as modest, meek, lovely, discreet, etc. when they are describing young ladies, because those are the words that I use. :)

      Delete
  5. Hot is not a compliment. It is a declaration of sex appeal. Our son is still a baby, but I don't look forward to the time when we have to have this conversation! I know you can't escape the world's definition of beauty, but I pray earnestly that I can be a mom who teaches my boys about true beauty.

    One of the problems I see though is that young ladies, even Christian young ladies, desire to be hot. It's not just the boys we have to worry about. Just thinking about the problem and how to combat it in our own home makes my head hurt!!! :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh, Katherine, we are having many conversations I'd rather not have with our children! But it's a fallen world, and better us as parents than someone else. I agree that some of the problem falls with the young ladies, and I've been thinking of addressing that in the future.

      Now, take two aspirin and come back in the morning. :) Thanks for commenting!

      Delete
  6. This post really got me thinking, as well as all these comments! I consider the term "hot" to definitely mean the same thing as sexy or attractive in a lustful way. Just like the examples of actual hot things you referred to, the appearance of "hot" stimulates the senses. As I seek to honor God and my husband in the way I look on the outside, the last thing I want to do is stimulate the senses of another man. If I am, in fact, looking "hot," it had better just be in the privacy of our bedroom with my husband. If I get dressed before church and my husband says, "You look hot," that is a red flag to me that I need to re-consider how modestly dressed I am and change. If he told another man that I was "hot" and suggested they check me out, I would be very upset. He would never want to suggest that another man's senses be stimulated by HIS wife. Such a great discussion here. Thanks for posting and sharing!
    Blessings,
    Tyanne @ www.lamponastand.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Good point about being careful when getting dressed to go out. Thanks for your thoughtful comments, Tyanne!

      Delete
  7. I'll be 40 this year. I would LOVE it if some guy, who'd have to be blind, told me I was hot. I am intelligent and witty, and I know that people appreciate those aspects of me. Perhaps I would find it offensive if ALL anyone ever liked about me was my 'hotness', but it surely would feel nice to get a COMPLIMENT like that once more.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm in my forties (just barely!), and I struggle with feeling attractive. So I have taped on my bathroom mirror Psalm 139:14. "I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; marvelous are Your works; and that my soul knows very well." It helps...most days!

      Delete

I so much appreciate your time and effort in leaving a comment, and I try to respond to as many as time permits. :-)